How To Ruin A Seemingly Idiot-Proof Packet Of Chocolate Muffins

 

Hi guys! I finally got around to some baking on the weekend, and by baking I mean Triple Chocolate Muffins from a White Wings box, lol. I haven't managed to do any Christmas baking yet and not sure I even will, but these muffins satisfied my baking craving, even if I did use a pre-mix packet. {I've edited this after writing it, so everything in italics I've added after my baking sesh. I completely fucked up these muffins, read on to find out how, lol}.

I had half a block of baking milk chocolate left over from something else, so I decided to chop that up and add it in, because three types of chocolate were clearly not enough. Thus creating Quadruple Chocolate Muffins. This was the first 'jazz up'. A difference between muffins and cakes is that you shouldn't overmix a muffin mixture, whereas with cakes you can beat until light and fluffy. I think this is why the packet instructions get you to mix all the wet ingredients together really well first, so you're not tempted to overmix the dry ingredients in. {Surprisingly, no, this is not where I stuffed up.} This recipe used vegetable oil instead of butter which was different, but seemed to work nonetheless.

I ended up with one giant muffin for some reason, which Mr 15 immediately called dibs on, haha. But this one took way longer to cook through in the oven, meaning the others probably overcooked a bit. But I was not about to start removing the smaller muffs from the oven as I'd rather have slightly overcooked muffs than burnt fingers lol. {Guys, I should have taken the muffs out when the 11 were done and sacrificed the one monster muff. Instead, I idiotically left them all in waiting for Andre The Giant to cook through, and ended up with one good biggie and 11 dry, overcooked normies. Oops!}

The other way I jazzed up my now-quadruple chocolate muffins was by melting white chocolate then drizzling it over the top. Thus creating Quintuple Chocolate Muffins haha. Now you have to wait until the muffins are totally cool, like the Fonz (or Danny from Grease) before attempting this, or you will have a melted shitshow of a mess on your hands (and your kitchen bench). I googled how to effectively drizzle melted chocolate and the best way was from a piping bag/plastic bag with the end cut off but fuck that shit. I used a fork and I think it turned out pretty good! {No it did not turn out good. This is a lie! There was no drizzling because the white chocolate went all weird and lumpy and refused to melt properly. So I was forced to think on my feet. I decided to get a butter knife and attempt to ice the lumpy white choc on the top. This did not work and they look pretty bad. I left four of them nude for my son, because he refused to eat the white chocolate and I don't blame him lol}.

{So that's how to completely ruin an idiot-proof packet of triple chocolate muffins. Not gonna lie, this blog post went in a different direction than the one I anticipated. I hope at least you can laugh at my misfortune. And no, I won't be doing any more Christmas baking}.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

I Made Bliss Balls!

 

Hi guys! Today's post features the Bliss Balls I made at the end of September. In true 'me' fashion, I didn't make them until the date of their Best Before, because that's how organized I am. Also, I bought a Food Processor to make these. Albeit, a mini one, and on sale at Harbour Town, but still, these were getting made, even if I had to buy the appliances needed to do so. Let me explain!

The Westfield Plus app was doing an offer for members where if you spend a certain amount on food at Westfield Marion, you could pick up a free Recipe In A Jar. You could choose between some kind of vegetable/lentil soup situation (lol) or these Bliss Balls. What a no-brainer. I didn't realise at the time that I only had that month to make them in, nor that you needed a food processor to do so. I was super busy last month too, hence why it came down to the last day. I'm gonna say they were kind of fun to make, but ultimately not worth it. They literally taste like health and no one is eating them lol. BALLS!

Let's take a look at the process(or). Haha.

Here's the cute little mini food processor I bought. I had fun working out how to use it given I hate reading user manuals. But we got there in the end. And it was big enough!

Here's the Bliss Balls 'Recipe In A Jar'. It doesn't say the quantities, but the ingredients are dates, cranberries, oats, coconut, cocoa and chia seeds. I'm thinking I should have rolled the finished balls in extra coconut as a last step, but it's unlikely this would have improved them.

The method is super easy. You just dump the ingredients into the processor, add a pinch of salt and blitz to combine. Then you add 1/4 cup of warm water and blitz until it resembles cookie dough. It's at this point I wished I had made more cookies in my life so I knew what cookie dough looked like. So I just kind of guessed. If needed you can add a tablespoon of warm water at a time until you reach cookie dough consistency. Then you just roll into balls and place into the fridge to set. I've just read that you're supposed to keep them in a sealed container in the refrigerator. Oops because mine are in a Glad bag on the counter top. But I guess it doesn't matter because no one is eating them anyway lol.

Also my balls are all different sizes, progressively getting larger as my patience rolling them ran out. I've tried to choose uniform ones for the photos. Just know, there are some rather large ones that did not make the cut.

What can I do in the future to make my balls taste nicer? Let me know in the comments! Haha.

Hints & Tips: Kids Birthday Party Food!

Oh hey everyone! My son turned the big 1-0 recently, and I really can't believe we've hit double digits. Where has the time gone? I thought I'd post about the food I served at his Birthday Party, just because I spent two whole days baking and I want someone to appreciate it, lolol. We have a party for Mr Now-10 every single year, so I am actually learning a few things along the way, that I can pass on and possibly help you out. Here we go! The most important lesson I've learned is....

1. Nobody Actually Gives A Shit
Yeah that's right. I spent a few years stressing and pushing myself and baking 'til 9:30pm on party eve, perfecting things so everything looked beautiful, then noone really noticed my attention to detail or appreciated it. See the photos below for the effort I went to one year FFS.

My son was too fussy to eat them and the kids barely noticed my beautiful tiny teddies in various highly-entertaining situations.  The parents didn't get to see them because most of them dropped off their kids and left straight away. Spending hours meticulously decorating stuff that will get destroyed in three seconds flat is an exercise in futility, and kids are just as happy with this (see below photo) which is what I went with this year. This is packet mix from a box, using the packet icing (I used to make my own from scratch HAHAHA), simply decorated. Which brings me to...

2. Chocolate Everything
Chocolate will always be a hit. My son suggested two batches of chocolate cupcakes but for some reason I insisted on one chocolate and one vanilla. The vanilla ones were decorated with green icing (I let my son put the colouring in) and M&Ms. Again, simple and fairly quick to do. Kids know best. The chocolate ones were demolished and I think someone took pity on me and ate one green cupcake. Needless to say we had leftover green cuppies for days!

3. Rocky Road Is A No-Brainer
I always make rocky road for my son's Parties. He loves it, it's quick and easy to make and it takes so little effort I can easily do two batches. I do a kid-friendly version that doesn't have nuts or coconut; if you're wondering about the recipe I follow this Planning With Kids one. I prefer to use the large pink and white marshmallows and cut them in half. This time I forgot, but usually I swap the M&Ms for Clinkers, which tastes far better. I just fill a large Glad Bag with Clinkers, pushing out any air, seal it then smash them up a bit with a rolling pin to expose the colours. I still got compliments on my rocky road though, so that was great to hear!

4. Jelly Shots Will Be Popular
I'm not talking vodka jelly shots, although they would be popular, but probably more so with the parents, haha. These are just basically different flavoured jellies set into these little plastic hors d'oeuvre spoons I got from a cheap shop. I've served them before and they were so popular I decided to do them again, because they're quick and easy and look good on the party table! They are a bit annoying to transport to the venue, because they slide around unless you jam them in tight next to each other and hold onto the container in the car (only if you are a passenger, not if you're driving!).

5. Pre-Packaged Treats Are Your Friend
Yes, you will be baking for your kid's Party. But you don't need to make everything! That's way too much work, your body will be screaming in pain and you'll be exhausted before the Party even begins. Showcase a few baked treats that look good, but don't be afraid to fill the party table with pre-packaged goodies as well. The three things I like to go with are popcorn, chips and party mix lollies. There are lots of different popcorn varieties these days; you can go with buttered, caramel, rainbow or one of those fancy flavoured ones. I found a cute popcorn container at a cheap shop and went with a big packet of buttered popcorn. Chips are cool because you can use one plain potato packet, then do flavours like barbecue and chicken. Burger Rings and Cheezels will also be a hit!

6. Don't Forget The Essentials
Now this is assuming you are holding the Party at a venue away from home, otherwise all this stuff will be on hand. We always have my son's parties at a game arcade or laserzone place, so it sucks lugging bags of stuff into the venue each time, but we usually get there 15 minutes early to set things up (ask the venue beforehand if you can do this, as they make have another booking). Inevitably, we always forget at least one of these things (this year it was the spoons, lol) but here's my list of things to take:
~ scissors
~ large knife to cut the cake (careful, there are kids around and you don't want a law suit, haha)
~ candles
~ matches/fire-lighter device (check it's working before you leave home)
~ napkins
~ paper or plastic disposable plates
~ plastic cups
~ enough drink/cordial/water to last the whole party duration
~ a texta to write kids names on the cups otherwise you will have 247 half-full drinks on the table, with noone knowing whose is whose and you will run out of clean cups. This happened to us this time lol.

7. Birthday Cake Cheat
I ordered my son's Birthday Cake from a Bakery, because honestly, who can be bothered after all the party food baking? Doing this saved me a lot of stress and allowed me to concentrate on my other baking and organising the food for transport. The funny thing was, my son's actual Birthday was the day after the party, and he wanted a homemade cake for his special day. I was suitably stuffed, so when he was at school I bought a chocolate mud cake, some ready-made Betty Crocker icing (a new level of lazy for me, lol) and 13 KitKats from Coles, and just decorated the store-bought cake, also using the left over M&Ms from the rocky road. He loved it and it literally only took 15 minutes to decorate, no baking required.

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What's your best tip for running kids parties?

WINNER ANNOUNCED: It's All About The Food Not The Fork CookBook!

Thanks so much to everyone who entered the CookBook Giveaway! I had a fantastic response from you guys and I greatly appreciate the support! I can see you all love the cookbook and I can say that it's a handy one, with lots of easy to make recipes. I enjoyed reading through your favourite finger foods. So much yum! Back to the prize, here's a reminder....

THE PRIZE

'It's All About The Food Not The Fork!' Cook Book valued at $39.95!

Rafflecopter has drawn the Winner, and it's a big CONGRATULATIONS to....

INGRID!!

(I've covered her email and IP address for privacy).

Hope you love your new cookbook Ingrid, it's a great one! I'll be contacting you via email shortly.

Don't worry if you didn't win because I'll be launching a special Instagram Giveaway to celebrate 1000 followers soon. So make sure you're following me (@shinyglitterbug) there!

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Disclaimer: Two copies of the Cook Book were provided, one for review and one for this Giveaway. All thoughts are my honest, unbiased opinion. Please see the Disclosure page for further information.

REVIEW/GIVEAWAY: It's All About The Food Not The Fork Cookbook!

Enter to WIN this Cookbook!

Hi guys! I feel like I haven't given back to my lovely readers in ages, so I do apologise for that. But that's about to change, because I was generously gifted an extra copy of It's All About The Food Not The Fork! Cookbook, so I'm finally running another Giveaway. Yay!

This book was written by Peter Morgan-Jones (with Lisa Greedy, Prudence Ellis and Danielle McIntosh), and the premise is quite an interesting one! The book was put together with the elderly in mind, people that are often overlooked in our society. Older people may have difficulty swallowing, or be physically incapable of holding a knife and fork. They may have dementia or have a reduced appetite. But why should they miss out? This book is full of delicious and nutritious recipes designed to be eaten easily and without cutlery. And even if you don't have older people in your life, this cookbook is still helpful, because if you need finger food ideas for a dinner party or to take to an event, Birthday Party or just over to a friend's house, there are '107 easy to eat meals in a mouthful' inside. Also, the portions are smaller, so this would be ideal if you are cooking for one. Even if none of those circumstances apply, the book is packed with very easy to make dinners, snacks, drinks and desserts that I'm sure would come in handy in your daily life!

Spinach, Feta & Zucchini Frittata recipe

Grilled Lamb Cutlets, Asparagus, Kipfler Potatoes & Mushrooms recipe

I love that there's a wide range of recipes in the cookbook. Recipes sections include Breakfast, Elevenses, Super Snacks, Just Desserts, Better Beverages, Fast Fuel, Sandwich Wrap, Vegies, Eggs and Dairy and there's even a very thoughtful Proudly Modified section. Most of the recipes are really easy, with only a few steps, which is great for people like me who freak out when presented with a complicated recipe with 500 ingredients and even more steps. No Masterchef Elimination Challenge recipes here!

My version of the Ham & Cheese English Muffin French Toast!

How it should look, lol.

Check out the above photo for my attempt at the Ham & Cheese English Muffin French Toast, which was delicious by the way! My only criticism is I'd love to see more photos of the food. There are a lot of pictures of the dishes, but I'd love to see a photo for all of them, so I know what it's supposed to look like! Other than that, this book is a real winner, and I can't wait to cook more dishes from it. I did plan on having the Duke Of Devonshire's Nut Biscuits (see photo below) made before this post went live, but the 32 hour Blackout we endured last week completely stuffed up my blog schedule, my cooking plans and basically anything needing electricity/hot water/internet/light/heating etc!

These look yummy!

GIVEAWAY!

THE PRIZE: 'It's All About The Food Not The Fork!' Cookbook, worth $39.95

It's easy to enter, just follow the prompts in the Rafflecopter widget below. Please note you must be a Max The Unicorn email subscriber and visit the Don't Give Me Eggs That Bounce Facebook page to enter. There are optional tasks, each getting you more entries and thus chances to win. After subscribing, remember to click the link in your email to complete the subscription process, otherwise it doesn't count! Although optional, it would be greatly appreciated if you 'liked' Max The Unicorn and Don't Give Me Eggs That Bounce Facebook pages (this is the title of another book written by Peter Morgan-Jones). Winner will be selected randomly by the Rafflecopter widget. Have fun and Good Luck!

~ This giveaway is open to Australian residents only, and will run for one week, from 17/07/16 - 24/07/16.
~ The winner will be notified via email and given 3 days to reply, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.
~ Standard postage is included in the prize.
~ Winner must provide their Australian postal address for prize delivery.
~ Winner will be announced here on the blog and on the Max The Unicorn Facebook page.

Aaah yes, chocolatey goodness!

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Disclaimer: I was provided with one cookbook for review purposes and one for this giveaway. Reviews are my honest opinion. Please see the Disclosure page for further information.

What's your favourite finger food?


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Fully Baked: Zach's Birthday Party Food!

Multiple nervous breakdowns later.....

My son turned 8 last month, and as usual, I spent three days baking, freaking out, madly decorating cakes, buying Tupperware and generally being a crazy bitch. LOL. I thought the Party Table turned out rather well, though, so it was all worth it. Here's everything I made....

Celery & Carrot Dips Cups to balance out all the sugar on the table. LOL. This did nothing to balance out all the sugar on the table.

Teddies swimming and sunbathing in the pool! Lazy bastards.

The most creative I've ever been. The kids gave zero fucks btw.

Strawberry & Marshmallow Skewers with Chocolate Drizzle! These disappeared quicker than Ben Affleck's personality when J.Lo forced him to wear suits and be all dapper and shit during their ill-fated 2002 engagement.

Shitty photo of my Clinker Rocky Road 'cos stress + 14 kids + multi-tasking. Can you spot the Katy Perry Mad Potion promo confetti on the table though?

Teddy Bears Skiing Cupcakes!

Pierre, the show-off on the right, is a seasoned pro with a holiday house in Les Deux Alpes and a rich French girlfriend called Bernadette.

Barry is a Plumber from Wodonga with absolutely no skiing experience. It's safe to say he's shitting himself.

Two round Coles chocolate cakes stuck together, re-iced and decorated! Hubby's idea. One kid's Mother told me it looked like boobs.

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Will Barry overcome his fear of dying in a horrible skiing accident and go on to represent Australia in the Men's Downhill event at the 2018 Winter Olympics?

Wordless Wednesday: Party Time! Excellent!

Did you get the Wayne's World reference? It's supposed to be Wordless Wednesday so I'll keep it short and sweet (very sweet, literally!). Zach had his 7th Birthday Party. I baked. The end!

Clinker Rocky Road, Three Layer Jelly Cups

Mini Vanilla Cupcakes

Chips and lollies are a must!

Chocolate Dinosaur Cupcakes

I love the spotty plates!

What food do you make for kid's parties?