Sunday, November 25, 2012

Are you serious, Jessica Biel?

Welcome to another round of dodgy celebrity fashion, peppered with a few lovely outfits, just to keep you on your toes (and ease the eye bleed). Let me know your favourite in the comments below, or the one that had you laughing the hardest.

Diane Kruger
She's wearing Jason Wu at the opening of Jaeger-LeCoultre's new Paris boutique.
I love this. Diane rarely screws up fashion-wise. She's also mega-thin, so she can wear anything. The strappy shoes look kind of odd because the heels disappear into the black background, but I'm sure they were super-sexy just like her outfit. Plus she gets bonus points for dating Joshua Jackson (Pacey from Dawson's Creek!).

Lindsay Lohan
She's wearing Donna Dashini at the Liz & Dick Los Angeles premiere.
Where to start? The positive - the red hair is a major improvement over her usual fake bleached blonde look. The negative - everything else. This dress is cheap-looking and McWhore-ish. Although the cut-out diamond-shaped windows with the red beads hanging down would scream class on the set of a porn flick, bitch needs to step it up a notch for an LA premiere.

She's wearing Damir Doma at her Unapologetic album launch in New York.
This is a black oversized leather shorts and top combo. If you had Rihanna's bangin' body would you wear something as unflattering as this? I mean, she still manages to make it look kind of OK if you tilt your head to the right, close your left eye and zoom your face past real quick. But otherwise, Unapologetic girl needs to start apologising for this fashion faux pas.

Jennifer Lawrence
She's wearing Dior at the Silver Linings Playbook Los Angeles premiere.
Loving this little black dress, it's sexy, simple and stunning, with the belt adding a touch of glamour. Jennifer has such an amazing body, it's hard to believe she has actually been called fat. This dress shows off her killer legs perfectly.

Jessica Biel
She's wearing Oscar de la Renta at the Hitchcock premiere in New York.
What. The. Fuck!? I'm pretty sure she's taking the piss. She has to be, right? This is 17 kinds of octogenarian hideousness, and I can only hope they are making a Golden Girls movie, she's snagged a part as Blanche and is trying to get into character.

Scarlett Johansson
She's wearing Rodarte at the Hitchcock premiere in New York.
This is an odd, mismatched kind of dress, but it comes off as funky and unusual and doesn't look too bad. Anything was going to look good after the silver Biel thing.

Photo credit: Diane, Jessica & Scarlett from Fame/Flynet; Lindsay from FayesVision/; Rihanna from Ivan Nikolov/; Jennifer from WENN. Sourced from the Celebitchy site.


  1. Suddenly am feeling better about wearing a cossie or pyjamas most of the day. Some of these clothes look shockin'. Lindsay Lohan's diamond cutouts are so not cool. Mind you, I'd look even worse in them!

  2. Ah, there's nothing like looking at pictures of people with all the money in the world who still can't get it right. Very uplifting for the rest of us... I always have a larf at the way they stand, like they've suddenly wet their pants or something. Thanks Di.


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