I think we've all bought things that seemed like a good idea at the time, only for it to become abundantly clear later on that it was, in fact, a rather shit idea. Sometimes, I even know it's a shit idea at the time I'm buying it, but my brain is still egging me on, insisting I MUST HAVE IT. Make yourself a coffee, sit back, relax and enjoy the gloriously bad decisions I've made, with my Top 7 Beauty Purchases Regrets!
|Looks good in the tube...|
7. Australis Velourlips Matte Lip Cream in Hon-O-Loo-Loo
When Australis first released this collection of matte creams I was so excited. I think we all were! Don't get me wrong, some of the shades are lovely. Just not this one, on me. I swatched this on my arm in Priceline and it looked so pretty I immediately fell in love and knew it had to be mine. Of course I completely forgot my arm and my lips are two vastly different colours and just because the arm swatch looked good didn't mean this would translate to my face. Hon-o-loo-loo is way too light and impressively manages to make my lips disappear into my face whilst simultaneously making my teeth appear yellow. Sexy! Hey, at least it's a multi-tasker.
6. Ulta3 Nail Colour in Honolulu
OMG, Honolulu again! How freaky is that? OK, so as much as I love Ulta3 for its cheap as chips rainbow of nail polish colours, the fact still remains, this is yellow nail polish. I have never worn this and I probably never will. Why did I buy this? Do I not know myself at all? Was I having an identity crisis that day? Did I have a particular nail art idea in mind? Had I been watching too much Sesame Street (damn you, Big Bird!)? I mean it's not even a pale lemon or pastel yellow, for shit's sake. It's..... well, it's Honolulu, and it's hideous.
|What an extravagant cock ring!|
5. Giant Hair Donut
I don't even know what brand this is, or its proper name (probably because I ripped the packaging off in an excited frenzy to try out my new hair bun maker, lolol *cries*), but it's huge. And therein lies the problem. I do not have huge amounts of thick hair. My hair is fine, and so damn fine (hey, girlfriend!) that it's a massive struggle to wrap it around this bastard contraption ensuring it's all covered. I used this once, and I remember spending ages poofing my hair around this 'donut' until my ugly bun covered up all the stupid sponge. Then I took countless photos, ripped it out, threw it to the back of the cupboard and went to my room to sulk. LOL.
|What a stunning bottle though!|
4. Lolita Lempicka Eau De Parfum
Oh My God, the bottle is so cute! It's shaped like an apple and has gold accents and the spray button looks like an apple stem and I have to have it! And so I did. I ordered it online, without even smelling it first. I'm not joking. This is the power of gorgeous packaging/bottle design, people. I am not proud of this impulse purchase. Turns out the scent of Lolita Lempicka gives me a huge motherflipping headache, so I can't actually wear it. At least it looks pretty. High Fives all round!
|Put this on the front of your packet, Lip Rock!|
3. Lip Rock Metallic Lip Foils
I won't lie, the idea of having metallic gold lips excited me. The 'Reduced To Clear, Was $5.50, Now $2.00' sticker did not raise any red flags whatsoever, instead cementing the decision to purchase in my head. This was happening, goddamnit! You'll be shocked to know, my lips looked nothing like the perfect, shiny gold plump kissers on the packet. These were a bitch to apply, came out uneven, didn't adhere to my lips properly and weren't even gold. I chose my blurriest photo then filtered the crap out of it before posting it to Instagram, that's how bad it looked. #truthbomb
2. Lime Crime Lipstick in No She Didn't
Yes, she fucking did! Hehe. And she regretted it almost immediately. Because it's blue lipstick. It's blue (like the nail polish was yellow); you just can't get around the fact. But more astonishing is knowing that that's the reason I wanted to buy this in the first place. I wanted blue lips! I'm an introvert, so it's not as if I'm ever wearing this outside the house. I have to work up the courage to wear Airborne Unicorn out, FFS. And no, I don't do the Zombie Walk or go to Fancy Dress parties ever. I have absolutely no use for this, besides slicking it on so my family can point at me and laugh.
1. BYS Eyeshadow in Limited Edition NEONS
Wow. Take a look at this thing! Soak up those fluorescent shades with your now-damaged vision. Marvel that the designer behind this palette had their super-fun novelty hues approved. What lovely, flattering, wearable colours, said noone ever. This jarringly hideous neon eye palette literally makes my eyeballs vomit. I can only imagine I was feeling nostalgic when I saw this, because I do love the '80s. More the movies and music than the makeup, but still. I like that BYS made this a Limited Edition, and yet I hope that I didn't get this thinking 'ooh, only available for a limited time, better grab one before they sell out!'. Because I'm pretty sure I'm the only idiot who actually bought one. Are you jealous?
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What's your biggest beauty purchase regret?