How To Ruin A Seemingly Idiot-Proof Packet Of Chocolate Muffins

 

Hi guys! I finally got around to some baking on the weekend, and by baking I mean Triple Chocolate Muffins from a White Wings box, lol. I haven't managed to do any Christmas baking yet and not sure I even will, but these muffins satisfied my baking craving, even if I did use a pre-mix packet. {I've edited this after writing it, so everything in italics I've added after my baking sesh. I completely fucked up these muffins, read on to find out how, lol}.

I had half a block of baking milk chocolate left over from something else, so I decided to chop that up and add it in, because three types of chocolate were clearly not enough. Thus creating Quadruple Chocolate Muffins. This was the first 'jazz up'. A difference between muffins and cakes is that you shouldn't overmix a muffin mixture, whereas with cakes you can beat until light and fluffy. I think this is why the packet instructions get you to mix all the wet ingredients together really well first, so you're not tempted to overmix the dry ingredients in. {Surprisingly, no, this is not where I stuffed up.} This recipe used vegetable oil instead of butter which was different, but seemed to work nonetheless.

I ended up with one giant muffin for some reason, which Mr 15 immediately called dibs on, haha. But this one took way longer to cook through in the oven, meaning the others probably overcooked a bit. But I was not about to start removing the smaller muffs from the oven as I'd rather have slightly overcooked muffs than burnt fingers lol. {Guys, I should have taken the muffs out when the 11 were done and sacrificed the one monster muff. Instead, I idiotically left them all in waiting for Andre The Giant to cook through, and ended up with one good biggie and 11 dry, overcooked normies. Oops!}

The other way I jazzed up my now-quadruple chocolate muffins was by melting white chocolate then drizzling it over the top. Thus creating Quintuple Chocolate Muffins haha. Now you have to wait until the muffins are totally cool, like the Fonz (or Danny from Grease) before attempting this, or you will have a melted shitshow of a mess on your hands (and your kitchen bench). I googled how to effectively drizzle melted chocolate and the best way was from a piping bag/plastic bag with the end cut off but fuck that shit. I used a fork and I think it turned out pretty good! {No it did not turn out good. This is a lie! There was no drizzling because the white chocolate went all weird and lumpy and refused to melt properly. So I was forced to think on my feet. I decided to get a butter knife and attempt to ice the lumpy white choc on the top. This did not work and they look pretty bad. I left four of them nude for my son, because he refused to eat the white chocolate and I don't blame him lol}.

{So that's how to completely ruin an idiot-proof packet of triple chocolate muffins. Not gonna lie, this blog post went in a different direction than the one I anticipated. I hope at least you can laugh at my misfortune. And no, I won't be doing any more Christmas baking}.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!